The key to thriving in retirement is feeling connected by making the most of existing relationships and forging new ones.
Having a role with a work group or network, gives a sense of self identify and belonging. When working, it is estimated that we engage in up to 22 high quality face to face interactions daily. However, in retirement that number cuts to half and those interactions are generally of a lower quality, because they often occur by email or phone. This can lead to negative feelings about retirement such as being isolated, bored and out of touch.
Investing in meaningful relationships takes time and energy and, dependent on your needs, there are two key groups to consider.
Existing Family and Friends
Strengthening and recommitting to existing family members are the first obvious relationship group. Family relationships are important even when they are far from perfect. Retirement gives you the opportunity to develop a closer relationship with your partner, assist with aging parents or in-laws and enjoy grandparenthood. Early in the process however, set some boundaries regarding your availability, thus allowing time and energy for other activities and your own refreshment.
Friendships aren’t just about having people to share experiences with. Friends are also vital to our mental, emotional and overall health, whilst filling an innate human need to connect, writes psychologist Caroline Anderson. It’s not about the number of friends, but rather the quality and variety of your friendships. Meaningful friendships which are based on emotional intimacy, developing trust, giving back and connection take time and effort to develop.
Expanding Social Connections
Expanding potential friendships and your network of connections is vital if you have relocated to a new area or would like to broaden your external social circles.
Investing in a group or activity of interest or exploring an area of curiosity is a great way to achieve this.
Consider your hobbies and interests and join a relevant group. For example: golf, walking and gym groups all provide social connection, fun and fitness, while gardening or wood working groups assist practical skill development. “Four out of five Australians find their hobby helps reduce their stress and feelings of loneliness and isolation and improves their mental wellbeing – nor is it just while they’re doing it” (Healthy Agenda 4/19).
Service clubs and community groups such as rotary, zonta and churches provide social connections, intellectual stimulation through speakers and an opportunity to contribute your skills and support to the community. Over four million Australians do volunteer work each year of which 35-40% are in the over 55 age group. There are always plenty of opportunities to assist in areas of community welfare, sport and recreation, education and training, religious activities, environmental and animal care with like-minded people.
Retirees make up the highest percentage of enrolled students in community education courses to pursue interests or up grading skills. For example: the University of The Third Age have a wide variety of short courses such as: language, photography, roman history and computers to just name a few. While others are retraining through university or TAFE courses.
In looking to join any group my suggestion is that you attend three times before making the commitment to join, as you might have attended on their best or worst day!
The rewards for over 60s who connect with others are very positive. Studies have shown that “those who pursued between 4-5 productive activities were happiest, most satisfied with life and only showed minor symptoms of depression” (American Institute of Aging, 2005).
The key to thriving in retirement is feeling connected. Making the most of existing relationships and forging new ones will support you in unlocking its potential!